Tag Archives: life

Mum

13 Sep
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Jan Livesey (outside the church for my Christening )

Showering you with flowers for your birthday Mum.

Love Me xoxoxoxo

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13.09.1937 – 11.07.2016

La Force

4 Sep

If you could register* all the events in life – the good, the bad, the memorable and the ones you are reluctant to remember…  You cherish them, are thankful for them, ignore them, fear them.  They make you what you are and hopefully, influence you to carry yourself forward, strong and determined to keep looking around the next corner.

“Life’s not a straight line,” I still hear Mamy (my French grandmother) saying to me, many years ago when I’d had my first taste of mortality, at a time I would prefer to forget.  I was sitting there at rock-bottom, listening to the words of this discreet and loving 87 year-old woman as she reeled off dark events in her life (nursing my baby for me, far physically stronger than me – my baby the beautiful being in this heavy time).  She spoke with dignity and humility. I’d had no idea of what she’d been through in her life – this petite, elegant woman who I already loved for how she observed people around her (I was doing a hell of a lot of that myself, not understanding or speaking the language of my new home), her conspiratorial grin and her willingness to accept me into the foreign family I’d suddenly landed myself in.  I looked upon her with new eyes.  She told me with certainty I would get through this time.  Mamy’s strength and empathy empowered me.  I thought, if she got through all of that, I can.

Many events have followed this conversation – and amidst the beautiful, there’s bloody well been a steady drum roll of tough ones for our family in the last few years.  But I understand the thread that runs through all of them, the good the bad, that collects me in its force and nurtures me.  It’s love. I sound bloody kitsch.  I don’t want to imply ‘lurve’, the cliched Hallmark cards or tits and arse ideas of lurve. I mean the big love. Love for and from the people in this life with me.  It empowers me, making me cherish today and determined to see tomorrow.

*I’ve been OCD-recording visual images on my Instagram feed, vigneronswife

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Eight-Oh Dad

4 Sep

Love you Pop xo

Image 05-09-17 at 13.06

Image 07-09-17 at 13.32

not Zzzzing, Bzzzing

24 Mar

buzzing

I feel like I’ve emerged from a big sleep.

But I haven’t been sleeping.

I haven’t been nodding off, I’ve been just temporarily out of action.

My mind though, has been in overdrive and whirring and whirring.  It’s been having a huge time, chock full of stuff – crap, weird stuff, joy, confusion, peace, weird stuff – buzzing like the beautiful bumblebees around me in the garden right now.

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But as Spring gets into its step, I am starting too as well.  I can get up, get out, bloody well brushing off the dirt from the last scrape.  The mind is buzzing and ready to clear out the crap.

image from 'Old Tom's Holiday', by Leigh Hobbs,  ABC Books, 2002

felt something like this…

Just one of those little chunks of life that reminds you (again) that it’s good to have life (again).

Please don’t chuck.  I’m sorry for the harp music, the chubby little cherubs and the waffle – sounds like I’ve lost it (again), but I mean it.

And stuff it, they’re flying right above me now with the bumblebees.

for my mum

13 Sep

…a few of your favourite things for your birthday!

You are there, we are here, but we wish you a happy day and send you all our love.

peonies for you

peonies for you

some home-picked figs

some home-picked figs

fresh cherries

fresh cherries

wild irises from out the back

wild irises from out the back

some hand-picked lilas

some hand-picked lilas

baked bread

a little baked bread

a beautiful red poppy

a beautiful red poppy

oh boy, some more tins!

…oh boy, some more tins (you are the Queen of tins!)

and a rooster

…and a rooster

why not, a rainbow!

why not, a rainbow!

some snow for you, who's never seen the snow

…and some snow for you, who’s never seen the snow

a sniff of wisteria

a sniff of wisteria…

a little girl in an old dress

a little girl in an old dress

and a hug from me xoxoxoxoxo

and a hug from me
xoxoxoxoxo

What a crazy year this has been, Mum, but today is the LUCKY 13th!

As Mamy said, life is not a straight line…  And yeah, it’s crooked as hell right now, but there is a beauty and a whole lot of love in all these kinks.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

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